People often struggle with knowing when it’s the right time to stay and when it’s the right time to leave. Whether it’s a job, a relationship, a city, or even a church, the decision isn’t always clear.
Corinth: A Hard Place to Stay
After leaving Athens, Paul entered Corinth, a city known for its wealth, temples, and great sexual immorality. For centuries, Corinth had been infamous for shameless living. Destroyed in 146 BC and rebuilt by Julius Caesar in 44 BC, it became even more prosperous—and more depraved.
When Paul arrived in the city around 50AD he did his usual thing, preaching and trying to persuade in the streets and in the synagogues. But when opposition grew, he shook his garments in disassociation—an ancient Jewish gesture of saying, “I’m done with you.” But God wasn’t done with him— as is often the case, when we hit our limit, God hits his stride.
In a vision, God reassured Paul: “Do not be afraid, but go on speaking and do not be silent, for I am with you, and no one will attack you to harm you, for I have many in this city who are my people” (Acts 18:9-10). So Paul stayed for a year and a half, teaching the word of God.
Paul thought it was time to go, but God called him to stay longer than expected. I know many of us regularly wrestle with the same tension: should we stay, or should we leave? I believe Acts 18:1-11 gives us insight here, with four guiding questions to consider before making that decision: Have I listened, looked, labored, and loved?
1. Have I Listened?
Too often, we rely on our gut instead of our God. Like Paul shaking his garments, common sense said it was time to move on. But God had other plans: “Do not be afraid… I am with you.” It’s an echo of Joshua 1:9, when God told Israel to be strong and courageous as they entered the Promised Land. Fear of supposedly undefeatable giants in the land led them to doubt God, and a generation missed His provision in the land of milk and honey. We do the same when we act first and pray later.
In 2023, when I was considering joining Park Community Church, I felt uneasy about leaving my old job. I remember praying and asking the Lord what I should do, my gut kept saying ‘don’t go’, but I was asking the Lord to speak clearly to me. It was after one of these prayer sessions, as I was preparing to meet with the HR team to decide if I should sign the contract that I received a text from my wife: “Even though there are giants in the land, it doesn’t mean it’s not flowing with milk and honey.” I believe it was God’s way of reminding me that His call doesn’t always align with my fear.
Listen to God. But test what you hear! God is not going to tell you to violate his word. Sometimes people weaponize prayer to say “God told me this is what I should do,” but in doing so it violates what they had already committed to (Jesus says to let your ‘yes be yes and your no be no’, Matt 5:37). Just because you felt a certain way after you prayed does not mean it is from God.
A few years ago, I attended a retreat where pastor and professor Dr. Marcus Warner was the guest speaker. During one of the sessions, he spoke about how to discern what you’re hearing in prayer. His insights have stayed with me and continue to be incredibly helpful. I hope Dr. Warner will forgive my paraphrasing, but he explained that there are typically three voices we might hear in our thoughts: the Holy Spirit, our own flesh, or the enemy (demonic influence). The key is to ask ourselves honestly, “Is this something the Holy Spirit would say? Or does it sound more like my flesh—or perhaps something the enemy would take delight in?” The point is, we must listen and we must discern.
The good news is that if we have put our faith in Jesus we do not do this alone. Jesus promises His presence: “My peace I give to you” (John 14:27)… “I am with you always, to the end of the age” (Matt. 28:20). Before you leave, pause to listen—not to fear or frustration, but to Him.
2. Have I Looked?
Do you see what God is doing where you are? We all tend to suffer from a measure of self-centered myopia, focusing on what’s wrong for us before seeing what might be good for others. Just think for a moment of the last group picture you took… the first face we check to decide if it’s a “good picture” is our own. Likewise, we often notice what we consider to be problems before we seek God’s purposes.
Paul thought Corinth was hopeless, but God told him: “I have many in this city who are my people” (Acts 18:10). Like Elijah, who once thought he was the only faithful prophet (1 Kings 19:10), Paul needed perspective. God was still at work.
Chaos will cloud our judgment. Like Jill in C.S. Lewis’ The Silver Chair, who ignored clear signs because her journey looked messy, we can miss what God is doing right around us if we focus on the mess rather than looking for our God. In order to look well, we need to build the muscle of curiosity. Ask your friend how they see God at work. Sit with an elder to understand what they’ve seen God doing. Do a prayer walk through your neighborhood and seek to grasp what God might be up to.
Are we looking for His hand at work?
3. Have I Labored?
God told Paul: “Go on speaking and do not be silent” (Acts 18:9). Sometimes our workplace, neighborhood, or church doesn’t meet our needs because we haven’t poured ourselves into meeting its needs.
Paul later writes to the Corinthians church describing the church as a body with many parts (1 Cor. 12:17-20). Each part has different passions and gifts, but all are vital. Just because everyone isn’t as passionate about what you believe is most important doesn’t mean that God is not at work, or that God doesn’t want you to keep your focused passion and for them to keep theirs!
A lack of aligned passion does not necessarily mean we should throw up our hands and shake the dust off our garments. Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book Life Together, wrote about the danger of a dream for a community, saying: “Those who love their dream of a Christian community more than they love the Christian community itself become destroyers of that Christian community even though their personal intentions may be ever so honest, earnest and sacrificial.”
We are called to seek the flourishing of our cities, to serve in the church, and to live missionally. Paul labored in Corinth for 18 months, long enough to later say, “Follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1). Can we say the same when it’s time for us to leave?
To be clear: our work doesn’t earn God’s approval. Jesus already finished the ultimate labor on the cross. Our labor is a grateful response to Christ’s labor for us, not a way to earn salvation.
4. Have I Loved?
Acts 18:11 says Paul stayed in Corinth for 18 months. He didn’t just preach; he loved. Later he wrote: “I wrote to you out of much affliction and anguish of heart and with many tears… to let you know the abundant love that I have for you” (2 Cor. 2:4).
Paul’s ministry was built on relationships—with Aquila and Priscilla, Titius Justus, and Crispus’ family. It wasn’t a ministry at people, but with people.
Before you leave a job, city, or church, ask: Have I truly loved the people God placed around me? As Jesus said: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:35).
In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis famously said, “to love at all is to be vulnerable.” It’s important that we ask ourselves if we have actually been vulnerable or self-protective with our love. Too many people go to a job, a relationship, a church, or a town, and then leave because they feel as though they were never known. Often people will claim that they ‘put their time in’, but it’s important to ask if that time was ‘skeptical time’… You see, the word skeptical comes from the greek words meaning “to examine from a distance” (sképsis, “examine”/tele, “distance”). If all we do is enter into our spheres in skepticism without vulnerability it will be impossible to love. Love is only possible up close.
Stay or Go, God Is With You
The reality is, as some point every one will be faced with decisions to stay or go, in one sense or another. Surely there are places I believe I’m going to stay that I will one day see I should leave, and there will likely be places I want to leave that God says to stay.
Sometimes faithfulness means staying, sometimes it means leaving. The key is listening for Jesus’ voice. Before you decide, ask: Have I listened? Have I looked? Have I labored? Have I loved?
Whether He calls you to stay or to go, His encouragement to Paul is also His word to us: “Do not be afraid, for I am with you.”
Love, Life, and Liturgy 